Be kind to yourself, the grief in these early days is so so raw and will come in waves. I found myself on a widowed and young site after about 3 months but I didn’t talk much at all until I got to around the 6 month mark and then I (virtually) met some nice people that I’m still in contact with. Chatting has helped me get through some of the darkest days of my life even when it’s been about simple things like the weather….joining this forum and chatting to people here has been a god send and given me a focus that’s helpful. If you aren’t up for chatting that’s also ok and I do understand that….have you found anything you could do to focus on? I tried my hand at baking & now planting a few things ?