Great snaps, ajn. And a great dog. Now, this isn’t a joke but a true story concerning one of the wittiest chaps I have ever known – a friend, name of Jim. Always there with a witty, sometimes shocking, answer to anything. Jim is/was a rep for a sales company and some 25 years ago was driving through Orpington in his red Cavalier en route to client when he’ pulled over by cops with blues and twos etc. Two officers approach car ask him his name, where he’s going etc. They check everything then apologise politely and explain that a car identical to his has just been used in a robbery in Orpington so they had to check him out. He drives off. Five minutes later, he’s pulled over again, blues and twos etc. Polite officers make same enquiry. After check he drives off…
Now you’ll guess what’s coming. Blue and twos etc, only this time the lead copper is not a polite person. His opening gambit is, “Right, you. Hands on wheel where I can see ’em. Don’t attempt to drive. Don’t talk. Don’t do anything unless I tell you.”
Jim’s patience had expired. “Can I THINK, officer?” Rude copper, “Yeah. Think all you want.” Jim: “Well I think you’re a c**t!” Now this could have gone very badly for Jim had not rude copper’s mate, alongside him, collapsed into helpless laughter, unable to speak.
We have two coppers in the family, they too dissolved into speech defying laughter on hearing the tale.