That sums how I feel up perfectly, I couldn’t tell you how many times Iv overdosed on opioids (accidentally) out of the severe and intense pain. It makes me feel like I am not normal if that makes sense. Everything I love doing and am good at I can no longer do at all or without a lot of help and I think that’s what I struggle with. I also struggle with how it’s affected my whole social life & relationships for many years but I tend to not be open about that as I come across a happy person ?