Mike700

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  • #132311
    Brydo

      Mike you know I love your ditties so if your up for it could you do one covering brexit, coronavirus and xmas, no pressure then ?

      As I’ve said before you should put them all in a book, I would buy it.

       

    Viewing 7 replies - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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    • #132312
      Avatar photoMike 700
      Participant

        Just to warm you up?

         

        Well well, A poem about pork
        Quickly there woman Hand me my fork
        Just look at that apple sauce &
        wow that mouthwatering crackling
        Piled up On my plate For me to be tackling

        Oh what a lovely way to grow plumper
        Outgrowing i’ll bet my new reindeer & penguin jumper
        What’s that you say wifelet there some Christmas pud left
        You know if it’s wasted I’ll just be bereft

        Any brandy cream to go with that plum duff
        Oye,Don’t call me those names, makes you sound ever so rough
        I know that the festivities and now this beautiful pork
        Have made me look a bit like an efilump not like a racing stork

        But calling me porker now that’s not very nice
        And making fun of my fat belly not just once but now twice
        you’ll be giving me a complex , and putting me offee
        Finishing my meal with that hot mince pie & coffee

        So, OK folks it does tend to sit ’round our middle
        But d’ya know what I really don’t give much of a fiddle
        Disability has already taken over my life
        And to fight yet another battle, with weight – nah, just too much strife

        So folks let ‘s just enjoy ourselves for what we are
        A little rounder perhaps but What The Hell, each one a star
        Let’s all keep using this forum, no fighting just eating and living
        Plum Duff yes , but respect for viewpoints others are giving

        Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

         

        #132314
        Avatar photoMike 700
        Participant

          Christmas comes but once a year
          Once too much for some like me I fear
          All that hustle, bustle and expense
          Shoppers searching so intense.

          But shoppers take so little time
          To notice disabilities like mine
          Banging and bumping me out of the way
          Just to get stuff they can get any day

          Christmas shopping fever has altered their mind
          One track only searching for that special ‘find’
          And people with a disability are a nuisance to them
          ‘Get out of my way you silly old men’

          Can’t you see your holding me up, and some
          I must get more shopping before this day is done
          otherwise I’ll miss all the bargains , you understand me
          Go play in the traffic I really don’t care that you have a disability

          Ah well I think I’ll have a Coffee in Starbucks instead
          For out of the way is better than dead
          I’ll stay there until shoppings over for you
          Yes i’ll be occupying a table I know , but what can you do

          I’m past caring what you & others will think
          I’ll just be oblivious and slurp up my drink
          ’cause shopping to me is oh such a curse
          And it’s not just from having an empty pensioner’s purse

          sitting there watching that madding crowd
          Does make me want to shout out ever so loud
          Lemmings and sheep are acting like you
          Calm down my dears or a heart attacks due

          Yes Christmas comes but once a year
          I love it of course with family dear
          But only when the shopping is done
          And then we relax and have us some fun

           

           

          #132315
          Avatar photoMike 700
          Participant

            I’ll try and get one together, with a bit of humour.

            This one is about getting together at Christmas –

             

            We were sitting there at Christmas reminiscing

            About those guys we knew who went missing

            In that God awful place called SouthVietnam

            Where we flew sorties over old Que Son

             

            Jack had come to visit me from

            home in Aberdeen town in bustling Hong Kong

            He’s lived there since late 1973

            With Beautiful wife and children numbered three

             

            His tours of duty in that Southern theatre

            Had changed his life and made him go back later

            He’d met his wife in the last days of duty

            Where he got her safely out of Saigon City

             

            ’cause by then he was no longer actively flying

            Working hard instead in equipment buying

            Kit and arms for forward units and men

            And was quite successful at it and then

             

            The NVA and Vietcong paid a call

            And Jack thought must get out , staff and all

            On the staff was future wife ‘Lee Chun’

            Little did he know then what was to come

             

            Escaped the city in the then normal way

            By chopper and to a carrier parked in the bay

            Repatriated in days to Pensacola City

            Not with Lee Chun though more’s the pity

             

            So off he went after resigning his comm

            Off to look on the Isle of Hong Kong

            And there she was waiting and not hard to find

            They looked for each other, two of a kind,

             

            So now you know why we were sitting there drinking

            At Christmas time with the fairy lights blinking

            Toasting some friends who couldn’t be here

            And wishing all others a Happy New Year

            #132316
            Brydo

              Absolutely brilliant, just read them out to my wife and father-in-law they both liked them very much.

              What a talent you have there Mike.

              Thanks ?

              #132317
              Brydo

                Of course mike it could have been

                ”the way I read them” ?

                #132319
                Avatar photoMike 700
                Participant

                  What is it about Christmas that makes us oh so happy
                  Has it lost it’s meaning is it now just about that tubby bearded chappy
                  Or for some is it still a religious sort of thing
                  That makes us so happy and wanting loud to sing

                  I and oh so many others seem to have forgotten the true meaning
                  And for me these days all this spend spend spend is oh so demeaning
                  I’d really like us to get back to the true non commercial reason
                  For this happy but also religious Christmas season

                  But times have changed and it’s no good regretting
                  That the true meaning of Christmas we’re all so easily forgetting
                  We all must move on as they now constantly say
                  But we can still celebrate Christmas in our own little way
                  .

                  #132347
                  Avatar photoMike 700
                  Participant

                     

                     

                     

                     

                    Lockdown , Locked up and Locked in ,it’s so boring we all say

                    We’re fed up with watching paint dry and not going out to play

                    It’s driving us crazy and we all feel like making for it ‘a run’

                    Clinically Vulnerable oldies we may be but not too old to enjoy some fun

                     

                    And if the vaccine does speedily arrive

                    Just watch these old folk sneak away & drive

                    As fast as their all terrain Mobility scooters will go

                    At a heady 8 mph with foot flat on the floor

                     

                    Boredom is as unhealthy as the Virus we all say

                    ‘Cause life’s too bloody short anyway not to laugh & not to play

                    So’s let’s have some fun today & let me say it just the one time

                    I’m too bloody knackered to finish this damned rhyme

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