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  • #132311 Reply

    Mike you know I love your ditties so if your up for it could you do one covering brexit, coronavirus and xmas, no pressure then 😂

    As I’ve said before you should put them all in a book, I would buy it.


Viewing 7 replies - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #132312 Reply
    Mike 700

    Just to warm you up?


    Well well, A poem about pork
    Quickly there woman Hand me my fork
    Just look at that apple sauce &
    wow that mouthwatering crackling
    Piled up On my plate For me to be tackling

    Oh what a lovely way to grow plumper
    Outgrowing i’ll bet my new reindeer & penguin jumper
    What’s that you say wifelet there some Christmas pud left
    You know if it’s wasted I’ll just be bereft

    Any brandy cream to go with that plum duff
    Oye,Don’t call me those names, makes you sound ever so rough
    I know that the festivities and now this beautiful pork
    Have made me look a bit like an efilump not like a racing stork

    But calling me porker now that’s not very nice
    And making fun of my fat belly not just once but now twice
    you’ll be giving me a complex , and putting me offee
    Finishing my meal with that hot mince pie & coffee

    So, OK folks it does tend to sit ’round our middle
    But d’ya know what I really don’t give much of a fiddle
    Disability has already taken over my life
    And to fight yet another battle, with weight – nah, just too much strife

    So folks let ‘s just enjoy ourselves for what we are
    A little rounder perhaps but What The Hell, each one a star
    Let’s all keep using this forum, no fighting just eating and living
    Plum Duff yes , but respect for viewpoints others are giving

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year


    VW Tiguan SEL in Silver White.

    #132314 Reply
    Mike 700

    Christmas comes but once a year
    Once too much for some like me I fear
    All that hustle, bustle and expense
    Shoppers searching so intense.

    But shoppers take so little time
    To notice disabilities like mine
    Banging and bumping me out of the way
    Just to get stuff they can get any day

    Christmas shopping fever has altered their mind
    One track only searching for that special ‘find’
    And people with a disability are a nuisance to them
    ‘Get out of my way you silly old men’

    Can’t you see your holding me up, and some
    I must get more shopping before this day is done
    otherwise I’ll miss all the bargains , you understand me
    Go play in the traffic I really don’t care that you have a disability

    Ah well I think I’ll have a Coffee in Starbucks instead
    For out of the way is better than dead
    I’ll stay there until shoppings over for you
    Yes i’ll be occupying a table I know , but what can you do

    I’m past caring what you & others will think
    I’ll just be oblivious and slurp up my drink
    ’cause shopping to me is oh such a curse
    And it’s not just from having an empty pensioner’s purse

    sitting there watching that madding crowd
    Does make me want to shout out ever so loud
    Lemmings and sheep are acting like you
    Calm down my dears or a heart attacks due

    Yes Christmas comes but once a year
    I love it of course with family dear
    But only when the shopping is done
    And then we relax and have us some fun



    VW Tiguan SEL in Silver White.

    #132315 Reply
    Mike 700

    I’ll try and get one together, with a bit of humour.

    This one is about getting together at Christmas –


    We were sitting there at Christmas reminiscing

    About those guys we knew who went missing

    In that God awful place called SouthVietnam

    Where we flew sorties over old Que Son


    Jack had come to visit me from

    home in Aberdeen town in bustling Hong Kong

    He’s lived there since late 1973

    With Beautiful wife and children numbered three


    His tours of duty in that Southern theatre

    Had changed his life and made him go back later

    He’d met his wife in the last days of duty

    Where he got her safely out of Saigon City


    ’cause by then he was no longer actively flying

    Working hard instead in equipment buying

    Kit and arms for forward units and men

    And was quite successful at it and then


    The NVA and Vietcong paid a call

    And Jack thought must get out , staff and all

    On the staff was future wife ‘Lee Chun’

    Little did he know then what was to come


    Escaped the city in the then normal way

    By chopper and to a carrier parked in the bay

    Repatriated in days to Pensacola City

    Not with Lee Chun though more’s the pity


    So off he went after resigning his comm

    Off to look on the Isle of Hong Kong

    And there she was waiting and not hard to find

    They looked for each other, two of a kind,


    So now you know why we were sitting there drinking

    At Christmas time with the fairy lights blinking

    Toasting some friends who couldn’t be here

    And wishing all others a Happy New Year

    VW Tiguan SEL in Silver White.

    #132316 Reply

    Absolutely brilliant, just read them out to my wife and father-in-law they both liked them very much.

    What a talent you have there Mike.

    Thanks 👍

    #132317 Reply

    Of course mike it could have been

    ”the way I read them” 🥸

    #132319 Reply
    Mike 700

    What is it about Christmas that makes us oh so happy
    Has it lost it’s meaning is it now just about that tubby bearded chappy
    Or for some is it still a religious sort of thing
    That makes us so happy and wanting loud to sing

    I and oh so many others seem to have forgotten the true meaning
    And for me these days all this spend spend spend is oh so demeaning
    I’d really like us to get back to the true non commercial reason
    For this happy but also religious Christmas season

    But times have changed and it’s no good regretting
    That the true meaning of Christmas we’re all so easily forgetting
    We all must move on as they now constantly say
    But we can still celebrate Christmas in our own little way

    VW Tiguan SEL in Silver White.

    #132347 Reply
    Mike 700





    Lockdown , Locked up and Locked in ,it’s so boring we all say

    We’re fed up with watching paint dry and not going out to play

    It’s driving us crazy and we all feel like making for it ‘a run’

    Clinically Vulnerable oldies we may be but not too old to enjoy some fun


    And if the vaccine does speedily arrive

    Just watch these old folk sneak away & drive

    As fast as their all terrain Mobility scooters will go

    At a heady 8 mph with foot flat on the floor


    Boredom is as unhealthy as the Virus we all say

    ‘Cause life’s too bloody short anyway not to laugh & not to play

    So’s let’s have some fun today & let me say it just the one time

    I’m too bloody knackered to finish this damned rhyme

    VW Tiguan SEL in Silver White.

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