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Hi forum,
I’ve been lurking on here for many months, looking with interest at all your comments. And what a good resource it is to allow peer group discussion, support, and constructive comment on issues that concern those that have issue with mobility.
I have become interested in this subject over the last 2 years having gone from mostly mobile to, well, not mobile in the space of those 24 months. Like most I had no idea of PIP’s, had never claimed a benefit in my life and didn’t know Motability existed until my award letter arrived with some info on it. How that has changed over the last year! Now I know why people struggle with the complexity of government forms, now I know what a Mandatory Reconsideration is, and now I know what Motability is, which has led me to you informative lot.
Here’s the thing though. When I use my blue badge I feel terribly guilty. It feels like the whole world is judging me. And now, when considering surrendering the mobility part of my PIP to lease a car, I feel the same way. Is this common? I’m normally very logical with things, but I can’t get my head around this feeling!
During a fairly difficult and dark time, the contemplation of at least having a car that I could actually get into has kept me going, as strange at that sounds. I know it’s only a piece of metal but it’s taken on an importance that I can’t quite explain. Tomorrow I’m off to Volvo to test drive the XC40, which looks awesome, and which seems to have a fairly universal popularity on this forum too. Thing is, I’m really nervous. I’ve bought loads of cars in my time, including one from this very dealer a few years back, and never have I felt like this. Did you feel the same? Or am I being a drama queen? Feel free to question or support my normality ?. All comments gratefully received
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Nah, it’s just cause it’s all new to you. I felt odd using my blue badge at the start, I have a friend who went 20 years without one and he was a double leg amputee.
My first car i rushed into getting it and got one I didn’t like… well hated is a better description ☹ but I needed an automatic and they were all so expensive so take your time and make the right choice.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi</p>
I agree with you it’s soo complicated when you first come to it.ESA income or contribution related, with/without severe disability premium, carers allowance. Pip elements.
If you think an MR is complicated hope you don’t have to discovery what a tribunal is like jeeeeeez that was nerve wracking.
As I’m not in a chair, mostly a walking stick & sometimes a scooter I get the guilt over the badge thing. I’ve been abused by other disabled people because I’m “only” 44 & not an oap so therefore can’t be disabled as well as the able bodied & it puts me right off using it but you just have to get on with it. I found the guilt eases eventually & it just becomes the norm.
The worst now is days out & the whole disabled & carer entry at zoos & the like I always feel like I’m being scrutinised even tho I’ve never had a bad experience tbh.
I haven’t gone motability yet mostly because there’s nothing affordable better than my Chrysler Grand Voyager that I drive now with 7 seats rear 5 fold into the floor, oodles of space & auto but I keep looking for the big MPVs.
I always feel like I’m not supposed to be in the dealership & I’m wasting their time even tho I’ve had many new cars. Also feel awkward asking for longer unaccompanied test drives preferably at least 24 hours so many don’t want you to have the car that long.
I think the mental aspect has also put me off going for it, I’d love a new car again as I get so stressed out over breakdown possibility & getting stranded (very rural here). Hopefully I’ll feel comfortable enough to jump in soon too. Good luck with everything.
Thanks for the replies! Much appreciated ?. Yeah, I think it will always feel ‘odd’ parking where you wouldn’t normally park (although I’m quite looking forward to parking on double yellows ?). Rich, your experiences sound very familiar to me. I too am able to use sticks, I too am in my 40’s (just!), and I too live very rural. I haven’t experienced ‘going out’ very much at all recently, who has? And prior to that I was adjusting to my new life situation, and trying to gain some confidence back. But I imagine I will feel exactly as you have described.
I didn’t have to deal with a tribunal, although I would have if it had been necessary. Speak as you find, and knowing so many others haven’t, but I had no problem with DWP. I did go through the mandatory reconsideration process but the anomaly was really clear and they agreed. The only issue was the time, but I guess the current pandemic situation slowed that down. It took 9 months from initial phone call to final award letter. I’ve taken a while now to consider whether I should go down the Motability route, and have concluded that it makes sense. My current car has been brilliant and I’ll miss her, but there’s no way of getting in (or out if I ever did!) anymore, and the manual gearbox is not happening either. Faced with the prospect of having to change makes Motability a good choice. Hopefully tomorrow will go well! CheersHello and a big welcome to you.
Thanks for an excellent post. WMC is an excellent resource without a doubt. A veritable one stop shop of all things Motability scheme related. We also have an Off topic section for anything not Motability related.
Joss
Current car: BMW X2 sDrive 20i M Sport 5dr Step Auto In metallic Portimão Blue. 04:10:2025
Previous car:Peugeot 308 GT Premium 1.2 Pure tech Petrol.Hi there @Bowly101 and welcome.
I know exactly what you mean. Even after a lifetime of stares and whispers, when I finally succumbed to my disability and got a blue badge, I felt exactly the same as you. It’s been four years now and I still do a little. ?
I thought I’d be more hardened to it but no, for me, it was the opposite.
I’m a very youthful looking mid fifties and have had the same ‘what are you doing parking there?’ stares off older people. A younger me would have been confrontational I’m afraid to say but my older me would rather just avoid any situation.
So don’t feel odd about it. It’s a natural response for some and something you’ll work through.On a more positive note, good luck with the XC40 test drive. Just get in there and be a customer, because that’s what you are. Nothing’s changed from the last time you bought one from that dealer in that respect.
I’ve just ordered one and can’t wait. The ride in it is amazing compared to my X1. I too am rural. I’m in N Wales and our roads are terrible. The X1 crashes around but the XC40 just soaks up the holes.
Looking forward to reading your thoughts on it. ?Drive safe ?
? I will be remembered for nothing but had great fun doing it ?
Welcome on board, Mr Bowly101. First, take all your guilt about PIP award, Blue Badge etc., bundle it up in a bag and chuck it in nearest supermarket recycling centre (when they open again). I, too, felt like you when awarded benefit/badge. But then realised I would really rather have full use of legs back again rather than take the benefit. So just make the best of it, mate!
Motability really is a fantastic resource. As you see, choice of vehicles is a bit wonky at moment. Hopefully it’ll get better. But the all-inclusive nature of the service is brilliant – you don’t have to phone, email or write to insurers, tax people, RAC, tyre firms and so on. It’s all done for you. This, to me at least, is such a relief. Dread calling all those people who are going to try sell me rubbish.
Finally, WMC forums are a fantastic place to be. All here know the issues you’re facing and are keen to help. You will get answers to anything you care to ask. Then head over to Off Topic for some amusement/entertainment!
Thanks for the replies! To be honest this forum has already made me feel better about the situation that faces me, that’s why I’ve done a first in my life and joined it! And now I get to participate on occasion ?.
Bowley101, I get where you are coming from feelings wise. I am in the caring role for my wife, and was always the one that didn’t have health problems. Things have changed a lot for me and after thinking about it for a long time I applied for PIP last year. Whereas I thought I might qualify for low rate mobility, I actually got low rate daily living too.
To begin with I was really pleased with the award, then the reality check set in, i.e. DWP had rubber stamped it confirming the problems that prior to that were just subject to my opinion. Finally I felt guilty for claiming.
Fortunately, I got over those feelings pretty quickly, accepted things have changed and just moved on.
Try and focus on the few positives there are in a tricky situation.
Isn’t it amazing, the power of positive reinforcement! Thanks Macca, your reply hits the nail right on the head. I’m sure I will adapt to the feeling in the same way I’ve had to adapt to a different personal circumstance, but it’s not an easy one. It really does help to know that these feelings are not unique though ?.
I’ve experienced depression for the first time in my life over the last 7 months, so I can definitely relate to the dark times. But, things do pass by.
Whilst I couldn’t see the light in the tunnel in January, after a lot of therapy, medication, and slow healing, I’m in a better place now at least, and can see the light. Only going forwards now.
Just gotta make it through the next 5 years and then retire, and re-prioritise.
Good to read you’re doing well there @Macca. Five years? That’ll go in a flash.
I can definitely relate regarding how it can get a grip. I was lucky and was able to climb back out of it but disability in itself and, in my case acknowledging it, kind of puts you on a mental level different to others.
It takes a strong will to live with depression.
It takes an even stronger will to acknowledge it.? I will be remembered for nothing but had great fun doing it ?
I must admit, I’ve supported my wife through depression amongst other things for over 25 years now. I thought I had a good understanding of it. This year has driven it home to me that you only really get a true insight into depression when you have that first hand experience.
But, ven though it may feel like it some days, it’s not the end of the world. With the right support there is a way through.
There is always a way through, it’s finding the path that takes the time. Knowing what you’re experiencing and how to define and combat it is so difficult when you have no personal experience to relate to and no way of adequately explaining where your thoughts lead you. It is good to read that you are on the path and making your way towards the exit, using the helping hands to guide you. Finding the pleasures in life, however big or small they might be, gives fortitude that aids the journey. In my case, I have always loved cars, so the chance to research and narrow down my choices has been a real boon when I’ve felt the need to divert my thought processes. A task that has now almost reached its conclusion. I’m going to start a new post about my experiences with Volvo, hopefully it won’t be too boring! And thank you all for your comments, all very helpful in keeping me on my path. Cheers
Looking for my last car was the hardest one ever, I do suffer from issues with my mental health and i guess I have since i was 9 years old but as i got older i got worse and could do less and less and that loss of freedom is the hardest to accept at first you fight it, but it’s a fight most of us cannot win.
All our battles are not the same but in some sences they are. The main thing is there is help and support out there but you gotta ask for it and seek it out and not turn it down and try and hide from it..
I often find things hard to deal with but finding better ways to cope helps and stops it all getting on top.
My latest problems though will never go away and I suffer ptsd from it for sure nothing can fix it or put it right. My 16 year old son died at home , we don’t really know why, it will be 3 years ago soon and it has taught me other things are important, every second and every memory as they cannot be replaced. we never know what tommororrow or this evening holds instore for us and life passes by if we let it.
This is why i went for a car that some would say is not easy to get into and not for them but to me once i in it. that changes and it makes me happy once i drive it. or lookout of the window and think how great it looks compared to the other bland cars i’ve had that suited my needs more on the scheme but where not as much fun once you got in and drove them. Hope that all makes sence I can cope with pain getting in as every car hurts to some degree getting in. My son loved cars and he was my car buddy so was ultra wierd looking and only did one test drive. So is something to consider and for me it deffo has helped me cope better.
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