Sounds like the Evoque is a Tardis in reverse where the outside is bigger that the inside.?
Hope you make a full recovery Phaedra but wondering with the car being a write off saves you getting those tyres and having a service and gives a breathing space until your Tigger turns up.
As they say “every cloud”.?
It’s certainly a birthday you will remember forever, not had such a birthday myself thankfully but I remember my dad back in the 70’s getting stopped for speeding on his birthday and when the cop looked at his license he said “happy birthday Mr K, here’s your ticket”.?