The only people who truly struggle to discuss racism are white people. That’s why they distract the discussion with silly theroretical questions rather than accept any responsibility for institutional bias or outright racism.
If someone asking that question seems perfectly normal to you, then Im totally stumped. Totally. Though not surprised.
Seeing as you are disabled, I presume you married to a disabled person and your children are disabled? How disabled? Perfectly reasonable to ask isn’t it?