I don’t think there’s a car on the scheme that ticks all your boxes – in fact, i don’t think such car still exists.
The closest i could think of would be a base model A3 Technik. Has AC, has cruise control, has 16 inch wheels, has light and rain sensors and has a decent engine option with the 1.5 TSI – does NOT have a sport suspension, making it more comfortable.
But what it also has is a digital cockpit. I don’t understand the complaint in the first place, at least ours (SEAT) is as clutter free as it could be in two out of three options (the “sporty” one is a bit hard to read). The Audi system isn’t much different, you do get the two options that matter: round dials like an analogue cluster, and the full map screen with gear indicator and speedo.
Prior: SEAT Ateca Xcellence Lux 1.5 TSI DSG MY19, VW Golf GTE PHEV DSG MY23
Current: Hyundai Ioniq 6 Ultimate
Next: we'll see what's available in 2028.