Rubbish jokes

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    Topic
  • #172476 Reply
    Brydo

    I heard it was a Russian who invented the cough mixture – his name was benalynforchestycoughs

Viewing 25 replies - 1 through 25 (of 28 total)
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  • #172483 Reply
    joss
    Moderator

    Cough ferkcough rubbish joke πŸ‰πŸ₯πŸ₯₯πŸ‡πŸŽπŸ„πŸ„πŸŒ° towards the stage

    Joss
    ***🌻🌻🌻 ***
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    #172518 Reply
    Tharg
    Participant

    Should a married couple be frank and earnest or should one of them be a woman?

    (Hardly a joke, definitely rubbish, but you did ask!) 🀣

    #172521 Reply
    wmcforum
    Which Mobility Car

    Two packets of crisps dawdling up a hill. Β A car pulls up along side and the driver asks if they would like a lift, They reply ‘No thanks we are Walkers’

     

     

     

     

    #172524 Reply
    joss
    Moderator

    10 coos in a field, which one is from the Middle East?

     

     

    Coo eight.

    Joss
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    #172527 Reply
    mitch
    Participant

    i reckon some have had too many xmas crackers.

    #172534 Reply
    Tharg
    Participant

    Shakespeare walks into a pub. Publican says, “Get out, we don’t want your sort in here”.

    “Why?” ask Shakespeare.

    Publican: “You’re barred, mate!”

    #172535 Reply
    Brydo

    Some really rubbish jokes there guys, brilliant 🀩

    #172560 Reply
    Tharg
    Participant

    Horse walks into a bar. Barman says “Why the long face..?”

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 3 days ago by Tharg. Reason: Edditted fur rottin spelinge
    #172568 Reply
    joss
    Moderator

    The scarecrow who won the Nobel prize- he was outstanding in his field

    Joss
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    #172569 Reply
    joss
    Moderator

    Cheese roll walks into a pub and orders a pint.

     

    Barman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

    Joss
    ***🌻🌻🌻 ***
    Current car BMW X2 2.0i Sport sDrive Auto 2019 with Sport pack
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    #172571 Reply
    Brydo

    The prize for the oldest rubbish joke goes to Tharg, the old ones are the best πŸ‘

    #172573 Reply
    Tharg
    Participant

    Thank you, everyone… (walks on to podium and accepts trophy from Julia Roberts). Especial thanks to my dear wife who has supported me through thick and thin but couldn’t be here tonight when she heard that Ms Roberts was coming. Also to my wonderful dog Tilly who has given silent support on the sofa and very kindly kept her nose off the keyboard. I must leave now as Ms Roberts and I have another engagement… (exits with Roberts towering languidly over him).

    #172583 Reply
    Brad

    My brother got me a spaghetti car for Christmas and my mum didn’t Believe me until I drove pasta πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

    #172586 Reply
    Brydo

    Brad that’s truly awful. πŸ˜‚

    #172589 Reply
    joss
    Moderator

    What’s the fastest cake?

     

    Scone.

    Joss
    ***🌻🌻🌻 ***
    Current car BMW X2 2.0i Sport sDrive Auto 2019 with Sport pack
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    #172590 Reply
    joss
    Moderator

    A lorry full of tortoises crashed into a lorry full of terrapins.

     

    It was a turtle disaster.

    Joss
    ***🌻🌻🌻 ***
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    #172593 Reply
    Tharg
    Participant

    What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

    A stick! 😏

    #172601 Reply
    Brydo

    Joss, Tharg, please tell me you are not β€œhere all week” Β πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    #172603 Reply
    mitch
    Participant

    youve only yourself to blame brydo.

    #172605 Reply
    joss
    Moderator

    Joss, Tharg, please tell me you are not β€œhere all week” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


    @Brydo
    you started it. Yes all week and the following weeks/ months/years. So suck it up🀣🀣🀣

    Joss
    ***🌻🌻🌻 ***
    Current car BMW X2 2.0i Sport sDrive Auto 2019 with Sport pack
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    #172607 Reply
    joss
    Moderator

    What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

     

    A carrot

    Joss
    ***🌻🌻🌻 ***
    Current car BMW X2 2.0i Sport sDrive Auto 2019 with Sport pack
    Last car Ford Focus Titanium 1.5 TDCI
    Builder of Gaming PC's

    #172608 Reply
    Rene
    Participant

    I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.


    @joss
    – pace yourself bud. For everyones sake. πŸ˜›

    Current: SEAT Ateca Xcellence Lux 1.5 TSI DSG MY19
    On Order: VW Golf GTE PHEV DSG MY22

    #172610 Reply
    Brydo

    Who would have thought monsters were so easily created πŸ€ͺ

    #172646 Reply
    Tharg
    Participant

    Yup, You started it, Brydo…

    Why wouldn’t the bicycle go anywhere?

    Because it was two-tired.

    #172657 Reply
    ajn

    A car salesman asked me, What are you looking for in a car?

    I said, It has to be affordable

    He said, I’m sorry sir, I’ve never heard of Β  a Β Ford Β Ibble….

     

    A horse walks into a bar wearing a zebra mask.

    The barman says,

    why the wrong face?..

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