Funny Joke Thread

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #43840 Reply
    Trev
    Moderator

    A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, ‘You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.’

    The cat thought for a minute and then said, ‘All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.’

    God said, ‘Say no more.’ Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

    A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that he made to the cat.

    The mice said, ‘Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.’
    God answered, ‘It is done.’ All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.’

    About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, ‘Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?

    The cat replied, ‘Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life.. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!’


    Mota History - Nissan Qashqai Ford Focus Seat Leon ST Mazda CX-5

Viewing 17 replies - 126 through 142 (of 142 total)
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    Replies
  • #111876 Reply
    Tharg

    Brilliant, Phaedra. Absolutely made my day!

    #111969 Reply
    BionicRusty
    Participant

    Q = What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
    A = The people is Dubai don’t like The Flintstones but the people is Abu Dhabi do. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

     

    🏎 I will be remembered for nothing but had great fun doing it 🏎

    #111972 Reply
    brydo

    Wayne the old ones are the best lol.

    #111978 Reply
    Georgie

    Just because it still makes me laugh:

    (NB – You might need to turn up the volume for the first part)

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nIwrgAnx6Q8

    πŸ˜€

     

    #111991 Reply
    joss
    Participant

    Absolutely nailed it Georgie. I always wanted to know what were the lyrics to that music. I will be humming that now lol.

     

    Joss
    Current car BMW X2 2.0 Sport sDrive Auto 2019
    Last car Ford Focus Titanium 1.5 TDCI
    Builder of Gaming PC's
    "It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability."

    #111993 Reply
    Georgie

    It’s the bit with the octopus that really cracks me up.

    #113165 Reply
    Brydo

    #113166 Reply
    Phaedra
    Participant

    There's room for all God's creatures, right next to the mash and gravy πŸ™‚

    #113749 Reply
    BionicRusty
    Participant

    Wayne the old ones are the best lol.

    Brydo, I’d either forgotten I’d heard it or never have. I’m blaming the drugs. πŸ‘

    It was a clip on Facebook I watched of some guy sat in a car trying to tell it but was crying laughing. I was in stitches watching it. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

    🏎 I will be remembered for nothing but had great fun doing it 🏎

    #113918 Reply
    Brydo

    #113929 Reply
    joss
    Participant

    very apt is that Brydo.

    Joss
    Current car BMW X2 2.0 Sport sDrive Auto 2019
    Last car Ford Focus Titanium 1.5 TDCI
    Builder of Gaming PC's
    "It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability."

    #113957 Reply
    brydo

    Joss hope your able to enjoy this great weather my friend.

    #113962 Reply
    joss
    Participant

    I would love to sit out in the sun Brydo. However one of the meds I take means I can’t unless covered up.

    Joss
    Current car BMW X2 2.0 Sport sDrive Auto 2019
    Last car Ford Focus Titanium 1.5 TDCI
    Builder of Gaming PC's
    "It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability."

    #113965 Reply
    Brydo

    So your pretty much stuck in the house, how do you pass the time?

    #113977 Reply
    joss
    Participant

    internet mainly. Reading on line. participate in a few communities and projects all on line. Mining history and mining societies.

    Joss
    Current car BMW X2 2.0 Sport sDrive Auto 2019
    Last car Ford Focus Titanium 1.5 TDCI
    Builder of Gaming PC's
    "It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability."

    #113989 Reply
    brydo

    I think it can be dangerous going underground on line joss lol.

    #114017 Reply
    joss
    Participant

    The Dark Net

    Joss
    Current car BMW X2 2.0 Sport sDrive Auto 2019
    Last car Ford Focus Titanium 1.5 TDCI
    Builder of Gaming PC's
    "It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability."

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